Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
