We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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