is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize