I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
