I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
