My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
