The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
