My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize