he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize