i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
