She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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