if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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