If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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