I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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