Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
