Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize