3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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