I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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