she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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