I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
