Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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