Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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