I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
