Apparently you make a good broom.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
