Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
