now i know why i became what i already was.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
