This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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