I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
