TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
