Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
