Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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