I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize