where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Swine flu. Run for my life!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
