Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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