i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
