The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
dude. I can hear the air.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
