Nicole vs. Life
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize