Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
