Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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