"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
