and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
