I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I looked at my own cervix.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
