I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
