I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
