if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
