she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
