We're facebook friends in real life
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize