I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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