yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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