we should wear snuggies to the strip club
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
