ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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