Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
