actually, I'm a sock model
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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