I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
