He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
