Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
