Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sorry about my life...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
