I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
