Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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