I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
