if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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