I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't make out with my wife yet
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
