If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
