i don't like sucking hair
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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