lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
