i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
