Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
