Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
