We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
