If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
40s are totally the cure
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
