i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize