Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
