"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
