Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
