Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
